I wrote this after learning about a dear friend who decided to end his life. Someone who was the kindest, sweetest, most generous, one of the most positive persons on the planet. All I could do was ask “why?”.
These two words matter so much today in a world where our very foundations are being shaken in a shifting sea of uncertainty. We have to combat a social culture where cell phones and politics continue to divide and isolate us from one another. It’s truly a different day. I realize now more than ever that identity, intention and purpose can awaken a sleeping giant with a reason to live. Suffering in silence is not the answer. We must seek help because the world needs to hear what we have to say.
At 3:32pm, I learned of a dear friend who committed suicide. He had been going thru some very challenging times personally and professionally. On the surface, it seemed like he had it all together but deep down, it was more than he could bare. He suffered in silence all the way to the end. He took his own life moments after spending an evening with a community of friends in an environment where help was just an arms reach away. Why didn’t he say something?
It seems surreal that I would type this about a friend who represented talent and truth to me. This friend opened a world up to me that I did not know existed. My interest for art would be nurtured and a whole course set for me to traverse and enjoy. He believed in me and I so appreciate that.
When I found out, I was at work, in shock going in and out of questioning whether the news was real. I wanted it to be a lie but it was not. I immediately wanted to be amongst his friends, his loved ones. So I headed to his art studio. I was expecting a large gathering but instead I found 2 friends who were “present” in mourning. We shared in a heartfelt conversation that landed me squarely in the middle of where I am today. These are a few thoughts shared in our exchange.
- “Identity starts with who you are today” words to live by.
- Your voice was given for a reason. Do not wait to be validated. Use your voice today. “There is no way to truly know why you’re given a voice, but be obedient with the talents you are given. People who live in truth live on forever in the hearts of those who love them.”
I read all of this to mean “Live on purpose with purpose!”
I am full of affirmation since these two points hit me squarely between the eyes. It also leaves me with great sadness because my friend is gone. May his death not be in vain.
I hope that in spite of the distance created by the busy-ness of life, that we somehow find the courage and strength to seek help when we need it most. May our eyes be keen to more than the visible and allow us to discern when a loved one needs to be coaxed from the cliff’s edge. May we open ourselves to be the help that someone seeks because we need each other more today than ever before. And, more importantly, may those who need help be encouraged to seek help in spite of the voices in their heads that say “you are less than, you are nothing, you are unworthy…” because “YOU are MORE than, YOU are EVERYTHING and YOU are worth MORE than you can imagine.”
To those considering suicide, please reconsider, seek help and be open to receiving help. I really don’t know the reason why my friend chose to take his life, I just know I wouldn’t wish the pain and grief felt by those left behind on my worst enemy. Choose LIFE and Seek Help!
Suicide Hotline
1-800-273-8255
This article is dedicated to the memory of my dear friend.
Shaun Martin Architect 